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Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Movie Trailer/Transcript
Transcript THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES BUT MOSTLY IT'S FOR SMALL IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN WHO WILL BUY ANYTHING WE DANGLE IN FRONT OF THEM NARRATOR: In a world where card games seem to dictate the fate of mankind... YUGI: I'm more popular than Jesus! NARRATOR: One boy must have the courage... YUGI: Yami tried to touch me in a bad place! NARRATOR: And the skill... YUGI: I can't possibly win this duel without my friends, so can you do it instead? NARRATOR: To overcome the odds... KAIBA: This time Yugi, there's no way you're going to beat me! YAMI: You just don't know when to quit, do you? NARRATOR: And defeat the forces of evil... ANUBIS: I'm a throw-away villain! Fear my generic motives! NARRATOR: In a card game! ANUBIS: I'm going to destroy the world with my suprisingly ineffectual powers! YAMI: Not if I lay this card in defense mode, you won't! NARRATOR: This summer... YAMI: There can be only one! NARRATOR: Prepare yourself for the motion picture event of the century... TRISTAN: I'm so excited I could wet my pants! Oops, too late. NARRATOR: Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Movie. Starring Yugi Moto: YUGI: As long as I believe in the heart of the cards, we're bound to get a sequel! NARRATOR: Joey Wheeler: JOEY: Is it wrong that I'm totally aroused by this? NARRATOR: Tristan Taylor: TRISTAN: Can I have some more lines? YUGI: Screw you, get your own movie! NARRATOR: Téa Gardner: TÉA: Die, you evil undead freaks! JOEY: Remind me never to piss off Téa. NARRATOR: Seto Kaiba: John Denver's "Leaving on a Jet Plane" plays as Kaiba flies off in his Blue-Eyes White Jet Plane NARRATOR: Yami: YAMI: This is my movie! You got that, pipsqueak? NARRATOR: Mokuba Kaiba: MOKUBA: Do a barrel roll, big brother! NARRATOR: Maximillion Pegasus: PEGASUS: I'm making a glorified cameo! NARRATOR: Also starring Anubis as "The Big Bad": ANUBIS: I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your head! NARRATOR: And introducing Bakura as "Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film". YUGI: Don't worry, I'm sure his scenes will be on the DVD. NARRATOR: If you only see one film this year that revolves around card games... YAMI: Yugi! We must win this duel! The fate of the world depends on it! YUGI: Oh you always say that. YAMI: You're about to get such a spanking. NARRATOR: Then make it this one. KAIBA: Holy crap, there's a huge naked man behind me! YAMI: Now this is my kind of movie! NARRATOR: All your questions will be answered. Like: Who does Téa really love? YUGI: Hey Téa, there's nobody around. Let's make out. TÉA: Get real, short stuff! I'm just using you to get to Yami! NARRATOR: What is Yami's real name? YAMI: Even I don't know the answer to that one! NARRATOR: Why is this guy wearing a luche libre mask? A big arrow points to him labelled "wtf?" NARRATOR: And can Kaiba actually defeat Yugi without cheating for once? KAIBA: Screw the rules, I have money! NARRATOR: Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Movie. Only in theatres. If you pre-order your tickets now, you'll get a bunch of free cards. By the way, does anybody have a throat lozenge? This voice is killing me. CAPTION: Just my way of saying thanks for watching my daft videos. Without you guys, it'd be pointless. New episodes next week! (Still recovering from my holiday...) Category:Transcripts